Hiking For a Cure
Mt. Leconte Ombrophobia Awareness Climb
April 10-11, 2009
Here, Scooter gives the okay sign
as he ascends past inspiration point, climbing for Larry. This hike
was intended to include Uncle Larry who became debilitated by another acute
round of ombrophobia that left him debilitated. This nasty virus was
subsequently spread to Grady and Wendi who were bedridden just from contact with
Eric, aka, Typhoid Larry.
This Highlander Group proudly
displays their colors in honor of Uncle Larry who may have to undergo a surgical
hormone therapy to reintroduce testosterone to fight the invasive overproduction
of estrogen that triggers his acute attacks of ombrophobia. Be not
mistaken, this is a serious condition which is, in some cases, life
threatening.
By choosing to ascend in the worst
storm of the year, this group of Highlanders faced the disease head on for their
fallen comrades. To show you how quickly this affliction can spread, the
usually intrepid Grady, fine the night before contact with Larry, was totally
paralyzed by the next morning with fear, doctors checked his hormone levels and
identified the drop in testosterone that precipitates an outbreak. As
Scooter and I climbed Alum Cave from 4.30 saturday afternoon until 7.15 that
evening through the wind, hail, rain and lightning, we climbed for our
Highlander Brethren. At times, we were tempted to turn tail and run.
(Okay, just kidding, the thought never crossed our minds. But we
considered what it would be like, to have a drop in testosterone that might make
us feel that way.)
When our friends from the shelter
learned of our friend, Little Larry, they immediately pledged to work by making
awareness of this disease throughout the state of Ohio. Their "Legions for
Larry" campaign" is off to a great start as they placed plastic bags over
their feet prior to their descent of Mt. Leconte in honor of Little Larry.
Bless you men, you shall forever be known as Larry's Kids.
I was so inspired that I began to
disrobe and began a buff hike descent before being stopped by President Dumplin.
We subsequently descended
respective trails in the misty morning prior to Easter Sunday, buffeted by our
desire to bring attention to this situation and provide a possible cure for our
Highlander fold, Grady and Larry who were jointly bedridden. Physicians
are baffled by the progression of Ombrophobia and intend to do a study of this
thing that has apparently run rampant throughout the SouthernHighlander group.
Stay strong. The only known cure is to hike and hike regularly. Stay
away from the Pres Pub, it seems to be a source of contamination along with the
Captains Sirloin and prolonged contact with the Nasty Love Joys. Great
promise has been shown with hormone replacement and doctors are looking for
suitable donors who might be a match, so there is hope!
Trail Stats: Alum Cave to Shelter. 5. something. Descent: Bullhead to Cherokee Orchard for Scooter. Back down Alum for yours truly.
update: It seems as if Larry and Grady are on the mend. They have been transferred to Greensboro where a team of specialists have found a teenager who is willing to donate whatever organs are necessary. Hooray.